


That Doesn't Go There

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, M/M, Robot Sex, Robots, Sex Robots, dubcon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 18:07:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1520234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin finds something he wasn't quite expecting on his way home from work one evening. </p><p>Shameless robot!Levi Mechanic!Erwin AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this instead of updating my other fic- I am so sorry to disappoint you guys.
> 
> (I'm trash)
> 
> (This chapter is rated non-con for the diddling of a non-sentient but humanoid object/sex robot- Read at your own discretion)

The evening was blanketed in a veil of thick gray smog that danced and twisted into ominous forms and the street was oddly damp despite the fact that it had not rained for some time. There was no sign of life on either side of the road, save for the blonde man strolling casually down one walk. Beside him were countless darkened shops- all closed seeing as 3 am was not a common hour- and adjacent to him was the black abyss that, in daylight, was the ocean. He was whistling an unintelligible tune, the plastic bag obtained from the 24 hour grocer grasped tightly in his fist and his own footsteps adding a harmonious accompaniment to his personal sound. He liked these lonely nights to an extent- there was no awkward attempt at friendliness with passing strangers or urging from outside vendors. It was only him and the moon and whatever little critter dared to scurry across the vacant street. 

Erwin's life was a simple one; He found pleasure in his work as a mechanic. His services were called upon mostly during the haunting hours when everyone else was snug in their bed so as not to disturb working flow. He didn't mind, though, though he socialized beautifully he had only really enjoyed it to an extent. At some point the sickening realization that humans had their own agenda was made painfully obvious. 

Though his lifestyle was a solitary one, it didn't stop him from enjoying the company of friends here and there. He mostly preferred to stay home and read or watch television. "-The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all-" he paused his newly pursued singing and stopped dead in his tracks. 

What was undeniably some sort of body was lying strewn out among the cluttered garbage in the alley between Vance's Hardware and Go-Lucky Liquor. It was small and pale- almost like a child that didn't often see the sun. He prayed to whatever God that would listen that it wasn't a child- Or a human for that matter. It almost appeared as if it could be a mannequin. 

He approached it slowly, his boots falling heavily among endless puddles of rain. "Are you alright?" he asked, not expecting an answer. And rightfully so, as none came. He crouched down, contemplating on whether he should call 911 or not. He supposed there was no use tying up the line until he was sure it was a dead or injured human being. While most wouldn't have been so calm- a Marine veteran had seen enough deaths to befriend the Reaper himself. When he turned the small thing over- dressed modestly in black cargo pants and a black tanktop, he was relieved to find a tell-tale protrusion of circuit and copper wire budding from its neck. "You're a robot," he commented casually, tilting its chin up to examine the damage. 

It was in perfect condition despite the exposed wires- hopefully it wasn't water damaged now- so he was baffled as to why anyone would simply toss it in an alley. Erwin Smith wasn't a robot mechanic in the least, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't ambitious. He picked the thing up carefully, cradling it like a child and marveling at how light it was. Its black hair was silky soft and stuck like vinyl ink to its skin, which Erwin couldn't help but note. 

\---

"Home sweet home," The blonde said as he carried the robot through the threshold. He set him up on the kitchen counter and went off to find his tools and a few other necessities. When he returned, it was a bit eerie to see the strange thing sitting upright in the dark with its eyes closed, brow frozen into a permanent furrow that made it appear either angry or flustered- Erwin supposed it depended on how you looked at it. 

The first order of business, Erwin decided, was to get the poor soaking thing out of its wet clothes. The only thing he had that would come close to fitting the robot was a pair of black shorts with an elastic waist band. It seemed as though its joints were frozen, as they retained any shape he placed them into. He pulled the things arms above its head and removed its tanktop, revealing an oddly perfect replica of a human chest. It was toned, as if the thing had seen years of careful diet and routine, but not muscular like Erwin's own which had been chiseled by the corrupt artisans of war. He touched its flesh, slightly curious as he had never been this close to a robot of this caliber- these hyper-realistic ones tended to abide by a strict function and were only seen with the well-to-do so that you couldn't tell what was fact and what was fiction. 

The thought made Erwin blush- though the more he pursued the thought, the greater his disgust overpowered his fantasy. If it was indeed a thrown-out sex companion of some faceless wealthy character, Erwin wasn't quite sure if even a deep cleaning could scrub the thought from the base of his mind. He reeled back, scratching the back of his neck as he debated whether or not he wanted to continue his perusal of the robot. 

Initially, his lesser desires hadn't been within his intentions at all. The thought had popped up organically as he caught sight of the thing's Romanesque body and, well, they did serve a particular function for a reason. He side-eyed it, clasping his hands and pressing the tips of his fingers to his mouth. Could a robot who held such a prime directive really be that dirty? Any dirtier than a human, at least? Didn't they self clean? If it was the companion of some wealthy Joe, it would make sense for it to have been abandoned when the issue was easy to fix. He had to wonder how the neck had been severed anyway. Robots were built to be extremely resilient, and it would take something industrial with a great amount of force to puncture the skin. 

He sighed and faced it, holding his weight with one arm on the counter top. His other hand moved to pop off the button of the virtually ruined cargo pants. For how rich someone would have to be to own one of these models, they sure didn't go to any lengths to pamper it. It was an idiotic endeavor anyway- Robots didn't give two shits about material wealth. Not unless you programmed them too, and then you'd just be burdened by the cost. He supposed that, if you had the money, getting off on someone begging you for jewels and clothes and other frivolities wouldn't be that ridiculous. If Erwin had the money, he'd probably be the same way. Power was a dangerous thing- even the fleeting thought of it could drive a man mad. 

He finally pulled down the damp pants with only a slight struggle as it clung to the robots odd not-flesh. "Maybe I should buy you a drink first. I feel rude," Erwin chuckled to himself, shaking his head. Maybe, he thought, he needed to stop confining himself so he wouldn't make ridiculous jokes like the utter bullshit he'd just spouted. He was tired, too, which didn't help. He examined the things lower half, pleased with it. He especially like its creamy thighs that, despite their musculature, were quite soft- almost like silk. The erection was simple but nothing like he had seen on the internet where these kinds of robots were advertised in pop-ups and spam emails. He liked the feet. They were small, but not too small. Almost like a fine china doll's. 

He pressed the robot back against the counter with unintended force, causing it to land on its back with a dull thud. Its limbs folded at their hinges, but Erwin ignored it and focused instead on replacing the cargo pants with the plain black shorts he'd picked out. He stopped short of pulling them to their intended placement, and moved his hand to the things ample rump. "Whoever picked you had good taste," he commented, placing his palm against the cheek. He spread it, observing the more carnal area, and noted that it didn't appear dirty to a fault. The more he thought about it, the more he considered turning it for a profit. A model like this- all beauty and definition and not exaggerated in any way shape or form- could go for a couple tens of thousands at least. If he could patch up the neck and get it running well, the issue would be nigh. He could probably buy a small house along with the rest of his savings and work part time to support himself. It wasn't a bad idea, really. 

"Alright," he said, adjusting the shorts so the robot wasn't uncomfortably naked. As an afterthought, he grabbed one of his old white shirts that was slightly too tight on him and threw it on without much precision "Let's fix you up." He brushed its hair from its face, appreciating its finely sculpted features, and then decided it would be easier to work on if it were lying on the kitchen table rather than the counter. He picked it up, moving it promptly to his makeshift work station. He set up his lamp and placed it right beside the gouge, illuminating his way. He was stationed between its legs, leaning over it for better leverage and a better vantage point. 

The procedure was quick and only required the replacement of a couple wires and connecting a few misplaced cords. The issue could have easily been resolved by take it to a technician but, as was common with socialites, it would be suicide for it to be known that your companion was actually an AI- that you weren't good enough to get ass you didn't pay for. Erwin shook his head at the thought and once again examined his handiwork. "Hopefully the damages were all cosmetic and the issue isn't with your hard drive," he hummed to no one in particular. He placed his hand on either sides of the things head and finally found what he was looking for- a small ingrained switch concealed underneath its hair. 

He jumped as sparks flew and covered his face protectively, only pulling them back when he was sure the flurry of embers had subsided. He groaned and leaned back in to observe the gaping hole in its neck. While he had fixed the most obvious issue, it looked like the real damage laid somewhere beneath it. He scratched the back of his head, then crossed his arms in slight frustration. Maybe he should have let it dry out first? Fuck. He was an idiot for not regarding the fact previously. He had only assumed water damage shouldn't be an issue with something so advanced. He had seen plenty of AIs frolic in the rain and had seen pictures of them in baths and pools. The fact that the machinery inside was exposed hadn't crossed his mind. He sighed and shook his head. 

"I guess I'll work on you more in the morning-" A thought snapped into his head and he moved back to the AI's foot, lifting it to reveal the fine black print on the back of its ankle. "Levi," he said casually, placing his hand on one of the revealed thighs. "I suppose no matter what you're good for one thing." He tapped his fingers on the table, a deep conflict tugging at the moral strings of his mind. The more he thought about it, however, the more heated he became. "Dammit," he whispered to himself, hanging his head. He shouldn't have felt ashamed. It was artificial, for one, and was most likely broke beyond repair. 'Levi' was nothing more than a glorified sex doll now.

Against his own volition, Erwin's hips were already rolling forward with anticipation, his hand gripping Levi's hips with what would be bruising force. He swallowed, watching its pale blank face. Any thought of how dirty the thing may be suddenly didn't bother Erwin in the least- It was gorgeous and realistic and vulnerable. He found himself in the dark depths of the uncanny valley. A discomforting sensation boiled in his stomach, shoving his arousal directly into his cock. It was the power thing again- the one he couldn't quite control but didn't quite enjoy and alternatively didn't hate. "Fuck," he whispered again, leaning forward so he could adjust Levi's position. He placed one arm crooked at the elbow, the back of its hand pressed against its forehead. He slid his hand down to push up the white shirt he'd thrown onto it last second, and then moved its other hand to hold it in place, revealing the plane of its chest. The scene was erotic and Erwin was disgusting. 

He flushed, reaching forward with one hand to caress the pale cheek of Levi who, if Erwin was correct, appeared to be blushing. Maybe it was a feature. His eyes scanned the bot, and he moved his hands to remove the shorts he had originally placed on it to decrease the discomfort of the situation. It was all a moot point now, he supposed. A breathy sigh escaped his lips as he viewed Levi's flaccid manhood. He wondered, if the thing had been functional, if it would gain an erection. There was no doubt in his mind that it would- shameful perusals of the internet had proven that most models of this genre did. he partly wished he hadn't possibly screwed the thing up for good. 

Preparation was a ludicrous action in this situation, so Erwin forewent it, instead jacking himself off slowly to the scene he had presented himself. It didn't take much for his cock to stand at attention like a finely trained soldier. He kept his eyes trained on Levi, mostly so he wouldn't have to engage the hole that he hadn't examined further than a fleeting glance and with good reason. It was no different than gambling with a human's, he continued to tell himself. 

Erwin placed a hand on either cheek and spread them apart, positioning the tip of his arousal against the tight hole. He wondered if it would even be possible to penetrate with the thing switched off. He grunted slightly as he pushed past the inevitable resistance- these things were supposed to accommodate, after all, and Erwin tended to have a lot to accommodate. It was slightly painful at first, but soon the synthetic ring's elasticity stretched enough so that the pain eased into a simmering pleasure. It wasn't warm like a human, but it was tight and pleasant.

He pistoned his hips a few times, grunting as he did. It helped stretch the thing out, but only just so much. "Fuck," he groaned, pulling back until just the tip was in. He shoved himself forward again, shuddering. "God, if only you worked." If it felt this good with the thing off, he could only imagine what it felt like with all the extra features activated- He wondered what it sounded like and what it would say. Would it beg and moan like a bitch, or act modest like a virginal flower? Would it scream and grip him and ride him until he was done with it like a slut? Maybe he could choose on any given day. The more he thought about it, the angrier he felt at himself for more than likely destroying it. "Fuck," he whispered, thrusting aggressively along with the irritability of his thoughts. 

His grunting continued, not much else spilling from his lips and, had he been bedding a real person, he might have been painfully aware of how beastly he must have seemed. He closed his eyes tightly, feeling the pressure of Levi's insides coaxing his orgasm minute by minute. He only wished it would do more. "Fuck, at least say something," he murmured aloud, reaching forward to grip its skinny neck. He jostled it with a particularly violent thrust and felt something shift underneath the pressure of his thumb, but paid no special regard to it. 

He wasn't sure if it was just his own body reacting to its most primal instinct, or if it was his body heat being reflected back at him, but he could have sworn the thing beneath him was suddenly warm, where it had been cold to the touch before. Erwin ignored it, though, focused more on the imaginary Levi in his mind. The one that was moaning and touching itself and begging for more. "Fuck," he whispered. "How does my cock feel?" Any human partner would have, more than likely, been immediately turned off by the utterance and gone to their friends the next day to talk about the douchebag they fucked the night before, 'and you won't believe what he said to me', but the response Erwin received was an unexpected one. 

"Okay," the thing said to him in a deep timbre that was both surprising and arousing. Although any response at all would have elicited the same feeling. Erwin was 900% certain the thing didn't even know what it was feeling. He looked up at it, still gripping its neck and making no move to correct it. 

And again, while most would have been surprised and embarrassed and most likely have pulled out and figured it out from there, Erwin made no such fuss. "Wrap your legs around me," he instructed, finding it easier to fuck the AI when it was working at semi-capacity. "Tell me you want my cock." 

Levi blinked his eyes, almost experimental, then wrapped his legs around Erwin's waist, pulling himself closer to the strange human hovering above him. "I want your cock," he said, his intonation pathetically unsatisfying. 

"Moan it to me. That was a poor excuse for sexy." Wasn't Levi supposed to be built for this shit? Shouldn't he have been pleading or screaming or moaning as soon as he had activated? Erwin pushed the thoughts aside. Maybe Levi had rebooted and reset to his default factory settings, which meant he was a blank slate. Perfect. 

"I want your cock," Levi said again, this time a little less standard. It was still pathetically done and didn't hit the mark with Erwin, but something like that could be trained into it with time. 

"Never mind," Erwin said. "Don't say anything." He gripped Levi's ass, his other hand still cradling Levi's neck. He was dangerously close to orgasm now, his hips thrusting for dear life of their own volition until his cock was completely engulfed by Levi. The AI's insides pulsated around him, squeezing at the sensitive appendage, and a whirring that might have been his hard drive overheating, or an extra pleasure feature finally brought him to climax. He groaned loudly, doubled over the robot's lithe form. It laid there beneath him, doing nothing as he spilled himself inside, his hips trembling. "Fuck," he moaned again, pulling out slowly.

"Fuck," Levi repeated calmly, but Erwin shushed him with his finger. His breathing was shallow and came from the depths of his chest, causing him to stumble and straddle Levi with his arms as he attempted to catch it. 

"Do you know what that was?" Erwin asked once he had regained his natural flow of breathing. 

"No," Levi said. 

"Okay," Erwin replied, running his hands through his hair. "I'll explain it tomorrow. I'm exhausted." He stepped forward, brushing Levi's hair back so he could switch the robot off, the thing's eyes shut slowly, then slid it limply into his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How else to dispel the tedium of standard upgrades than playing with a new toy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize for not only my existence, but my entire being.

Erwin knew that there were certain undeniable truths in the world: There is no oxygen in space; Eating salmon improves heart conditions; and Erwin Smith basically fucked a glorified toaster. It was the afternoon when the man finally awoke after what he hoped was just a bizarre dream. The deadpan grey eyes staring back at him proved otherwise. 

"I turned you off," Erwin murmured, swiping his hand over his face. It disturbed him how quiet the robot was- With his military training, Erwin should have woken up as soon as Levi entered his room. 

"I was programmed to rise at 5 am," Levi responded. 

Erwin sat up and ruffled out his hair. "Okay," he said, eyeing the machine as the bleariness gradually shifted out of him. "Hold still." Levi did, as he had been doing, and Erwin pulled off his shirt. He was going for the chest cavity, but was struck again by the beauty of Levi's body. He ran his hand down the pale front and let his eyes devour the thin form. "You're beautiful Levi," he said thumbing over one of the boy's soft nipples. 

Levi didn't respond, so Erwin continued what he'd set out to do. He opened up the chest cavity and read Levi's functionality status. "Hmm," he hummed. "Most of your memories were erased and your backup drive was removed. Looks like your personality disk is still in tact, but it was restarted. You're still rebooting which explains the...lacklusterness." He fiddled with the touch screen, humming as he continued to read. "Looks like you are a companion series after all. Hm...what's this? It says you were modified." He looked through the modification coding and scratched his chin. "Weird..." 

He stood and looked down at the small robot, appreciating the nearly foot of difference in their height. He stroked Levi's cheek, looking into his vague eyes. "Well, whatever your previous master used you for doesn't matter now. You're mine and you do what I say, understand."

"Yes," Levi said. 

"Do you remember what we did last night?" Erwin asked. 

"Yes."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"I don't know."

Erwin nodded, then went to his computer without another word. "Come here," he instructed. Levi walked over and Erwin place a hand on his hip, plugging him in. "I'm going to program some DLCs I found. They should make you a little more...fun." He smirked and smacked Levi's ass, then went back to programming. "It'll take awhile to download, but that doesn't mean we can't have fun until then. Kneel down." 

Levi did as he was told and looked up at Erwin. "Damn," Erwin said, stroking Levi's cheek. "You're sexy. A good find. I wish your memories hadn't been removed. You'd probably have so many stories to tell." He sighed and stroked his fingers through Levi's thick hair. "Mmm, what you're going to do is take my cock out of my pants and suck on it, okay? You were programmed to do that much at least. You don't need much of a personality to suck a cock right?" 

"I suppose," Levi said, reaching into Erwin's pants so he could pull out his massive dick. 

Erwin sucked in a breath. "Yeah...good. Just like that." He helped Levi's hand stroke him to semi-hardness then curled his fingers in the machine's hair. "Now lick it Levi," he instructed. "Lick my cock like the little slut you are." 

Erwin didn't like how emotionless Levi's eyes were. Any personality would be better than none. It felt like he was fucking a zombie or something, which was only slightly weirder than fucking a robot. He stopped caring as much when Levi leaned forward. "Suck this?" he asked. 

"Yeah. It's a blowjob," Erwin said. He watched curiously as Levi's eyes flashed with comprehension. 

"Blow job function database updated." Levi suddenly licked a line up Erwin's cock, making him startle. 

"Shit," he said, gripping Levi's hair. "Yeah...shit that's good." He let his head fall back as Levi continued pleasuring him. The boy used his tongue and lips to tease the sensitive skin, moving up and down it slowly. "Mmm, Levi. Oh my God." 

Levi took the head into his mouth and teased the slit with his tongue, then gradually took more and more, giving the illusion of difficulty. The size of Erwin's length was no small feat to deep-throat, but a robot could do it easily without a gag reflex. 

"Choke on it," Erwin said, pulling Levi's hair. "Choke on my huge cock." Levi took that as a cue and grabbed Erwin's leg for purchase, choking sounds coming from the back of his throat. Erwin pulled him down by his hair, forcing him down to the hilt. "Yeah," he moaned, urging Levi to continue. 

The robot's head began bobbing back and forth, creating a steady rhythm as his throat pulsated- a feature- and milked Erwin's cock. "Fuck...your throat feels so nice. Take it all in." Erwin usually wasn't this vocal with his partners, mostly because he didn't enjoy the unpredictability of humans. He'd always fantasized about companion robots because they didn't have thoughts of their own. They just did what you asked of them, no questions asked. 

Levi's face melted into something complex, even for robots. His furrowed brow and closed eyes were driving Erwin crazy. He truly was a beautiful model. "Fuck. I can't believe I found you. I can't believe you actually work. I'm surprised but not unhappy." As Levi pulled back to the head, Erwin yanked him back down hard, making the robot shiver from the force of it. Levi didn't have the capacity to complain about the rough treatment and that's what Erwin liked the most. He'd tried munches before to find people that suited his interests, but a bond was never formed with anyone he'd met; He and previous partners had tried pursuing what got him off too, but they rarely enjoyed his breed of sexual diversity and left soon after. 

"Mmm, what else can you do?" Erwin asked, holding Levi's head still as he thrust hard into the back of his throat. Erwin doubled over suddenly, holding Levi on his cock as the boy's mouth began vibrating. "F-Fuck...that's...something..." He could barely think as the stimulation brought him closer to climax.

Levi looked up at Erwin from the odd position and and sucked in his cheeks, his mouth warming a bit to increase the pleasure. 

Erwin moaned loudly, pulling at Levi's hair as he was driven over the edge, spilling his seed deep in the robot's throat. "Fuck," he breathed. "Levi that was...probably the best blow job I've ever received. No. No it was definitely the best." He caught his breath, then sat up straight and pulled Levi off of him by the hair- God how he loved pulling those thick black locks. "You're gorgeous. That was amazing." 

"Thank you," Levi responded. Erwin sighed and laid his head back, clicking the confirmation box on his computer. "The DLCs are all done downloading. It's basically all your basic companion programming along with a couple bootlegged expansions." 

Levi nodded as Erwin checked his chest cavity screen again. "Hm," he hummed. "Your personality disk is having trouble rebooting but I think I know someone that can help."

He grabbed the black cargo pants and tank top from the night before- he'd thought to put them in the dryer before he went to sleep- and walked back to Levi. "Do you still not know what sex is?" he asked. 

Levi was quiet for a moment and then his eyes flashed. "Sexual intercourse is defined as sexual contact between individuals involving penetration. Esp. the insertion of a man's erect penis into a woman's vagina, typically culminating in-" 

"Okay, okay," Erwin said, cutting him off. "You know the definition but..." he gave a frustrated sigh. "We need to get your personality disk fixed." He pulled the shirt over Levi's head, then helped him dress in his pants. "Here," he said, handing Levi a coat. "I have a feeling it'll probably rain soon." 

Levi looked up at the ceiling, as if paranoid. 

"Not in here. Christ," Erwin took Levi's arm, laughing a bit to himself. "Well right now all you really know how to do is fuck. That'll probably changed once we get your personality installed. I can't wait to see what kind of hobbies entertain you...if your previous owner installed any. Maybe he just made you an all-out slut? I wouldn't be surprised if your hobbies were giving head, giving handjobs and cleaning or something." 

"Yes," Levi said. 

Erwin eyed him funny, then shook his head and pulled him along. He exited the apartment and began locking up. 

"Erwin Smith?" 

He turned to see a slightly concerned old woman. "Hello Miss Baker," he greeted politely. 

"As I live and breathe I thought I'd be six feet under before I saw you again. You hardly ever go out much anymore." She eyed the machine behind him, completely oblivious and gave a sly smile. "Erwin...I had no idea." She looked around and then leaned in, covering her mouth with one hand. "He's a pretty little thing. How old is he? What does he do for a living? Is he from here?" 

Erwin turned red and took Levi's wrist. "Uh...we'll talk over tea," he said, trying to get past her but she placed a hand on his arm.

"Oh Erwin I'm so happy for you. You need someone in your life. I was afraid you'd simply die alone like little old me."

Erwin smiled slightly, rubbing the back of his head with furrowed brows. "No, no...I mean, we really should be on our way." 

Miss Baker smiled wide and adjusted her glasses. "Oh honey," she said to Levi. "You should smile. You have such a gorgeous face, people would swoon over you if you looked more approachable." 

"No," Levi said, and Erwin almost choked. 

"O-Okay. Time to go. He needs coffee. He's grumpy when he doesn't have coffee." He pulled Levi away, completely flustered as Miss Baker called a goodbye after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors. I feel like there may be more than usual in here.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stayed up until 4 am just to write this chapter and now I feel kinda dumb. I hope it's enjoyable!

The shop was old and run down, but clearly lived in. As Erwin pushed open the door (and a stack of boxes that had been placed in front of it) he gave a grunted 'Hello'. There was no reply. Levi looked around as well, scanning, and his eyes glowed white light due to how dim it was inside. From somewhere in another room came a loud crash and neither Levi nor Erwin jumped but the larger of the two was suddenly on guard. 

"Fuck fuck fuck." Something that anyone else might have considered a strange creature stumbled down a spiraling staircase, but Erwin recognized it as his old friend Hanji covered in dust and oil. 

"Working hard?" Erwin asked, taking a step forward. The force of her stumbling sent Hanji over a desk and she coughed up smoke, then removed her glasses to give Erwin a hard look. Her eyes were the only part of her that didn't suffer from a sooty layer. 

"Erwin!" Hanji cheered, rolling off the table and dusting herself off. She sighed out and coughed, then regarded Levi. She paused, and then gaped. "Oh my dear God. Is this why I haven't heard from you in weeks? Some handsome devil has stolen your affections." She covered their face and lamented for all of two seconds before rushing over to examine Levi.

"Hanji-" 

"Are you Erwin's boyfriend?" Hanji asked, lifting Levi's arm to look at it closely. "Such soft skin!" 

"No," Levi said. 

"Hanji I'm serious he's-" 

"The reason you've been ignoring my calls- I get it, I get it. I mean you've been with some cuties before, but I'm surprised you actually settled down enough to ignore your best friend!" She laughed and placed her hand on the side of Levi's head- An overly friendly greeting, but when her hand brushed a switch hidden behind Levi's ear she paused. "Wait wait wait!" She yanked Levi's head to one side which unperturbed the robot. "Is this...a Companion L-Model Series 4567?" She turned her bright eyes up to Erwin. "I've never seen one up close!" 

"I found him on my way home from work last night. He was just tossed aside. A little worse for wear but nothing I couldn't fix pretty easily. His personality disc isn't booting for some reason though and I've been working at it since last night. Do you think you could take a look?"

"Take a look?" Hanji scoffed. "Erwin I would pay -you- just to take a look in this thing! Open wide little guy-" Without waiting, she jammed her fingers inside and pried his jaw open. "Oh my...this is so realistic! I always heard it was but you really can't tell the difference from a human!" Her expression changed to something puzzled and she pulled her fingers out, examining the sticky white substance that came with it. Her lips suddenly tightened and she gave Erwin an unamused look. "Really? You couldn't have at least warned me?" 

Erwin held his hands up defensively. "Hey, I tried and you wouldn't listen. I'm not to blame here." Despite his lack of responsibility, Erwin still cleared his throat and blushed. 

Hanji glared at him- half playfully, but then again the last thing she was expecting to find in Levi was her best friend's jizz. "You're lucky I'm wearing gloves or you wouldn't be breathing right now." She rolled her eyes and stormed off, disappearing into the bathroom. 

"Why is she mad?" Levi asked, his eyes watching the bathroom door with some calculation. 

"Because she's not a cumslut like you," Erwin replied quietly, ruffling Levi's hair as he passed him. It felt nice objectifying Levi without repercussion- It wasn't like it was some conscious desire on Erwin's part, but knowing Levi wouldn't (or couldn't) react negatively thrilled him. 

\---

"How's it look Hanji?" Erwin asked. 

"I'm still not talking to you." Hanji pursed her lips and continued examining Levi's chest cavity, prodding the screen and reading each file very carefully.

"Hey," Erwin said. "You can't be mad. You don't react like a normally socialized human being and you know it. If you would've let me talk for twelve seconds I could've warned you." 

"Normally socialized human being," Hanji snorted. "Normally socialized like you? Mister fucks-a-mysterious-robot-he-found-in-a-pile-of-garbage?" 

"You got me there," Erwin said with a laugh. 

"Well anyway I think I found your problem. His personality disc has a private access password. It was encoded pretty deeply into his databases which means whoever dumped him took special care to make sure no normal person could access him." 

"It's a good thing you're not a normal person," Erwin said. 

Hanji grinned. "Precisely." She tapped away, then paused, looking to Erwin. "Erwin are you sure about this? Clearly this person didn't want this bot to be accessed by a third party. And dumped in the middle of some ally- wires sticking out his neck and memories haphazardly erased? It sounds pretty suspicious to me. What if it's someone you don't want to be fucking with?" 

Erwin rolled his eyes. "Hanji he's a sex robot. Honestly what kind of trouble can come from that? Some wealthy asshole probably got caught cheating on his wife with this thing and frantically dumped him before the press could have a field day." 

Hanji's eyebrows furrowed and she leaned back in her seat. "I don't know Erwin. Trouble always seems to find its way to you." 

"Hanji I'll be -fine-." 

Hanji crossed her arms. "I'll only do it on one condition."

Erwin groaned, covering his face. "What?" 

"You and Levi have to come see me once a week. No exceptions. That way I know you're alive, you have to leave the house, and I can make sure you aren't abusing this poor thing." 

Erwin rolled his eyes. "Hanji he's made for this shit. He's like...a top of the line custom order bot- I'm sure anything I could even fathom dishing out he can handle." He paused, stroking his chin, then leaned back. "Speaking of which...does he have a bruising function?" 

Hanji narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "I swear to God Erwin." She fiddled around for a moment, then looked back to him. "How sensitive?"

"Put it at about 40." 

Hanji adjusted the slider then held Levi's arm out. "Go ahead." 

Erwin gripped Levi's arm with his hand and dug his thumb in hard. Levi winced in pseudo-pain, then relaxed as Erwin released. Moments later a small bruise slowly began to form. 

"You're one sick puppy Erwin Smith," Hanji said, continuing her previous task. 

"Hey you have no right to judge. Everyone has their weird sexual hang ups. At least I'm not into like...diapers or something." Hanji raised an eyebrow and Erwin frowned. "I use google a lot." 

Hanji raised both eyebrows this time, but let it go. "Alriiiight." She turned Levi around and gestured to his chest cavity. "Put your thumb here. That way it's password protected by thumb print. Only you can access it. I'm guessing the previous owner didn't know that was possible otherwise he probably would've done it." She frowned and crossed her arms. "These rich stiffs don't even take full advantage of the machines they pay thousands of dollars for. It's disgusting." She looked pointedly at Erwin. 

"Hey, I work a graveyard shift mechanic job. I am by no definition a rich stiff." 

"Just disgusting," Hanji said, smirking. 

"Exactly." He encoded his thumb print then turned Levi back around for Hanji.

Hanji continued to peruse Levi's files and finally shut the panel. "Wait until you get home before you unlock his personality disc so it can finish rebooting. Who knows what kind of kinky personality he might have. You don't need to go destroying the innocence of civilians with your kink bot."

"Yes sir Hanji sir," Erwin saluted, taking Levi by the arm and mostly a little too eager to get him back home. He wondered briefly if he'd become like one of those people in the public service announcements where they fuck a companion robot night and day until they just starve to death or everyone they know resents them or something. It was stupid and farfetched- he'd never once heard of that happening to an actual living human- but still he had a surplus of plans for his new companion bot and what felt like not enough time. 

\---

Erwin felt like the epitome of disgusting horny male in some third-rate hentai. He rubbed his hands together, metaphorically drooling at the anticipation of his new bot's reboot. God. He was already standing fully erect, tapping his foot eagerly as Levi booted. 96%, 97%, 98%...98%...98%. He was nearly trembling with eagerness but the damn thing wouldn't boot past 98%. There was no way he'd be able to walk back to Hanji's shop with his dick as hard as it was and he wanted Levi -now-. 

His heart skipped a beat as the percentage jumped to 99. "Fuck Levi I can't wait." Erwin grabbed Levi's wrists and pushed him back onto the bed he had set the robot on. He dove in for a passionate kiss, pushing his tongue past Levi's lips. Levi reciprocated with no real fervor, but a subtle beeping alerted Erwin that Levi had booted to 100%. His cock gave another throb at the alert. 

He pulled away, looking down at Levi who looked scandalized. He was about to say something, but Erwin couldn't wait and silenced him with another kiss. Levi's fists curled tight under Erwin's strong grasp on his wrist and he bucked his hips up. Erwin took it as encouragement and reached down, his hand penetrating the hem of Levi's pants so he could fist the cock inside. 

With one hand free, Levi pushed at Erwin's chest which only fueled him to continue- So he'd gotten the shy and resistant type it seemed like. Erwin had read some article by some guy on a forum about how his companion was installed with this type of personality. It made him feel powerful apparently, but of course his companion was only programmed to act a little shy and then slowly give in. Erwin growled at the thought and removed his hand from Levi's pants, pinning him by his arms. It certainly did make him feel powerful- and knowing the resistance was just an act made him feel comfortable enough to continue. 

Levi glared at him, finally able to breathe. "Get the fuck off of me!" he yelled, trying to wiggle free from Erwin's strong arms. His breathing almost sounded labored and Erwin was surprised at how strong he actually was. It was a struggle to hold him down.

"Jesus Levi your resistance must be set really high." He leaned in, nipping at Levi's neck in an attempt to calm him down, but it didn't seem to work. The boy was still bucking and struggling. Hard. Yelling profanities. Erwin pushed himself up, eyeing the robot who glared back at him. "Fuck...nothing?" he asked. He loosened his grip and Levi suddenly switched their positions. 

"You're fat," the boy drawled, pressing his small hands against Erwin's shoulders, pinning him down instead. "I like to be on top." 

Erwin placed his hands on Levi's hips, a little surprised. "I'm...not sure what kind of personality you have. It's not exactly endearing." 

"It's a Levi personality. One of a kind," Levi responded, leaning down to kiss Erwin hard. The man was surprised, but he pulled Levi down against his crotch anyway, pleased by the friction the contact made. "Fuck...Levi...are you gonna ride my thick cock?" 

Levi rolled his eyes. "Obviously," he said. 

Erwin wasn't sure how he felt about Levi's new personality. He weighed the pros and cons of it against the emotionless fuckdoll from before and couldn't decide which he liked better. He was expecting something more...docile. But still he couldn't complain. It's not like he paid for the thing and now at least it felt a little more like fucking a human being. "Mm," Erwin moaned, spreading Levi's pale cheeks. "Ride daddy's cock like the little fuckslut you are." 

Levi responded with a moan as the tip of Erwin's cock teased his tight entrance. He slid down and his expression melted, uncannily realistic. "Ah...Erwin. You're so big." At least he was programmed to appraise his owner. 

Erwin held onto Levi's hips with a bruising grip, sliding him up and down his cock slowly at first. "What do you like Levi? What do you like to do?" No better time than the present to get to know his new fucktoy. 

"Clean," Levi moaned. Erwin snorted at how well he'd predicted that one and Levi narrowed his eyes at him. He placed his hands on Erwin's chest, thumbing over a nipple absent-mindedly which caused Erwin to thrust hard into him. He bit his lip, squeezing Erwin's shoulders as the man increased his speed and pulled Levi down on his cock hard with each buck. 

"Fuck- Take it Levi. Take my whole fucking cock." He slammed the boy's hips down hard then finally gave in and rotated them, holding one hand on Levi's throat as he fucked him into the mattress. Levi didn't complain- how could he with how blissful he looked? It was almost cute how he tried to keep a snarl on his face even though the pleasure was overwhelming him. His model truly was amazingly realistic. 

He pressed his mouth against Levi's chest, leaving marks on it as his cock pounded in and out of him. He pushed in as deep as he could one last time, stilling as he came with a primal growl. His body trembled, shooting cum inside the whimpering boy beneath him. 

Fuck- Maybe Levi's new personality wouldn't be so bad after all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What exactly is Levi?

Erwin's frown was deep as he pushed around the onions sautéing in his pan. His eyes weren't watching the impending meal- instead he was hyper-focused on a certain small robot. Levi was seated at the dining room table, a newspaper hiding his face from view. Was he really reading it? Couldn't he just log on to google and find any news he might have been interested in? Was this some sort of weird domestic function the previous owner had installed for a hint of normalcy? 

"What are you reading?" Erwin finally asked. 

"The funnies," Levi replied, monotone. 

Erwin didn't reply at first. He was shocked, mostly. "Uh...okay...anything good?" 

Levi folded the paper over, staring at Erwin with the most deadpan expression Erwin had ever seen. "Yes." He folded the paper back up. 

Erwin grimaced and went back to his food. It was weird. He still wasn't sure if he liked Levi's personality or not. It was too...abrasive? Domineering? Annoying? Probably all of the above. "You don't seem like someone that would like the funnies." 

"Hm." 

"...You don't talk much do you?" Erwin placed a couple strips of chicken in his pan, sautéing them along with the onions and seasonings. 

"Very observant. Congratulations." 

Erwin bristled. The more Levi spoke, the more Erwin...hated him? Wanted to return him? The more he was intrigued. Silence passed between them while Erwin finished preparing his meal, and finally he sat across from the bot.

Levi looked up at him. "It didn't occur to you to offer me some?" 

Erwin quirked a brow. "You're an android. You don't need to eat." 

"Still. It's polite to offer." 

Erwin had to crack a smile at that. "You're...a weird robot." 

"You're a weird human." 

God the snark was never-ending. The man continued to watch his robot, who suddenly looked vague. Erwin had to wonder what he was doing behind those blank eyes. Suddenly, he seemed conscious again. 

"-CommanderSmith, 3/4/2014, 5:12 a.m.

Hello, I've never owned a companion robot before and I'm curious what it feels like to fuck one. What kind of kinks did you program in yours? I've always wanted one that would mewl for my cock like-"

"Stop!" Erwin nearly choked on his food, realization slowly setting in. "Where did you- How did you-" 

Levi smirked. "I'm a robot. Searching the internet is something even a human can do easily." 

Erwin frowned deep. "You can't just go...looking for my...who would program such an antagonistic, sarcastic personality into such a cute robot?" 

"I don't know." Levi smirked again and neatly folded the newspaper he'd been reading in half, then set it pristinely on his side of the kitchen table. "I do know everything you've searched in regard to companion robots though. Like your friend said, you are one sick puppy." He held up his still bruised arm. 

The mechanic leaned back in his chair, feeling defensive. "Everyone has their kinks. You're a robot- you shouldn't even care." 

"That doesn't mean I don't have feelings."

"That's exactly what it means!" Erwin gave an irritable sigh and rested his head on his hand. "Look, you're really..." he tried to find the right word and Levi smirked yet again. "Fulfilling, but I don't like this attitude of yours. It's extremely off-putting. You're my companion now and you do what I want." 

Levi's smirk fell. "This is just how I was programmed." 

"Well if you don't stop being so...frustrating, then I'll have Hanji reprogram you until you're more suitable for me." 

"You don't own me, I know that much," Levi said. "I was programmed this way for a reason." 

"Because your last owner was a masochist, apparently," Erwin said with a snort. He left the table and fished through some cabinets. He returned with a bucket full of supplies. "You said you like cleaning, so start cleaning." 

Levi glared at him, but took the supplies. "Fine." He sauntered off, and Erwin had to admit he couldn't exactly resist that ass. 

\----

Surprisingly, Levi cleaned in complete silence. It was a little ominous- Erwin wondered what Levi could have been thinking, if he was thinking as all- but at least it was better than the sarcasm. He finished his meal in the peace he was accustomed to and sat on the couch with a book for quite some time. He could hardly read it though. His focus always returned to Levi's slender form in his tight tank top and cargo pants. 

After he re-read the same paragraph for the third time he finally gave up and put the book aside. "Levi." 

Levi looked up, watching Erwin from under his brow. He didn't look amused, but Erwin was sure he couldn't do anything other than disapprove, glare, and smirk. "What. You want another blowjob?" 

"No-" Erwin thought better. "Actually yes, but that's not what I was going to say. We're going to go shopping and find you better clothes." 

Levi paused. "...Really?" He looked slightly surprised. 

"Yeah. Put your shoes on." Erwin grabbed his car keys and ushered Levi outside where Ms. Baker was standing, watching her cat as it roamed the empty hallway. 

"Hello Erwin. Erwin's friend." Ms. Baker gave a gentle smile. "I'm still waiting on tea, Erwin. I want to hear all about your new friend." 

"We're not friends," Levi said. 

Ms. Baker looked confused so Erwin wrapped his arm around Levi's waist and gave her an appraising smile. "We're...boyfriends, naturally." He smiled and kissed Levi's cheek. Ms. Baker smiled. 

"Not really." Levi frowned. "He fucks me and then once he's done with me he makes me clean." 

Ms. Baker covered her mouth, eyes wide. "Oh my," she said. 

Erwin turned bright red and gently eased Levi forward. "He's joking- Sorry. He has a really...strange sense of humor. Well we should hurry before the stores close. C'mon babe, let's get going." 

Ms. Baker waved, though the concerned look never left her face. 

"Levi what the fuck," Erwin whispered. 

"Am I wrong? It's like you said, I'm just a companion robot. I'm only good for sex." 

"Are you serious- fuck- you are intolerable Levi. Look, if anyone asks just tell them we're boyfriends. Nothing else." Erwin opened the passenger side door for him and then slid into the driver's seat. "Listen, you can't go fucking up my personal relationships like that. Ms. Baker is a very kind woman and I don't want her thinking I'm some...abusive boyfriend to you or something." 

Levi side-eyed Erwin. "All of the peer-edited articles I've stored in my databases say relationships require mutual respect. You don't respect me. We aren't boyfriends."

"You're a robot. I don't have to respect you." Erwin turned on the car and reversed out of the driveway. 

\----

"Hi can I help you?" 

"We're just looking." Erwin held Levi's arm, leading him to the men's section of the store. He sized Levi up and chuckled. "I wonder if we should look in the children's section on second thought." Levi raised an eyebrow, but didn't laugh so Erwin shook it off. "Anyway, what do you want to wear?" 

Levi scanned the racks, and chose a few items in a size Small, which matched his measurements the closest.

"You should try them on to be sure," Erwin said, gesturing to the dressing room. Levi didn't move, and Erwin rolled his eyes. "For Christ's sake Levi." He grabbed the robot's wrist and led him into the room. "Alright, what do you want to try on first?" Levi still didn't reply, and Erwin quirked a brow. "Levi...are you alright?" 

Levi dropped the clothes and grabbed Erwin's face, pulling him down for a sudden and deep kiss. At first Erwin didn't respond, but gradually he wrapped his arms around Levi's waist and pulled him up. Levi obligingly wrapped his legs around Erwin's waist for leverage. He pulled away and tilted his chin. "I want to try you on first." 

Erwin gave a bemused smile. "What a sudden change of heart, but I'm not complaining." 

Levi smirked. "I want to mewl for your cock like a bitch in heat." 

Erwin frowned at that and rolled his eyes. "Stop looking up my chatlogs. You're not cute." He unlatched Levi's legs and set him down, pushing him slowly to his knees. "But alright. Get to it." 

Levi kept steady eye contact with the man and unzipped Erwin's pants with his teeth, causing the man to moan. "You are a strange human," he said. 

"You said that earlier. What prompted it this time?" Erwin sucked in a breath as Levi's soft, warm hands removed his cock from the hem of his pants.

Levi began jacking him off, still staring. "Analyzing your personality is strange."

"I don't even know why that's relevant." Erwin fisted his hand in Levi's hair, amazed at how realistic and silky the strands were. He bit his lip, leaning back against the inside of the dressing room. 

Levi's mouth spread into a sly grin and he licked a line up Erwin's cock, causing it to twitch. "Mm...Erwin, I love the taste of your huge cock." 

Erwin jolted, pulling Levi's hair taught. It was weird how...compliant Levi suddenly was, but it was hard to think past his erection so he forced himself to ignore it. "Yeah," he grunted. "Take my whole cock. Go ahead and suck on it." He took special care not to be too loud for fear of stirring the attention of a sale's clerk. 

Levi opened his mouth wide, making a display of his tongue and teeth for Erwin, then engulfed the appendage. He closed his eyes, his tongue feeling the heaviness of Erwin's throbbing erection. "Mmm," the boy moaned loudly, and Erwin tugged sharply on his hair to silence him. Levi moved his head back and forth slowly at first and then more rapidly, coating the length in his mouth with the lubricative saliva he had stored. 

Erwin let him bob his head for awhile before he pulled Levi off, smiling at the unappreciative groan he gave in return. "You love sucking my cock don't you? Stand up and put your hands against the mirror. Pull down your pants and stick your ass out for me." He peered at the crack beneath the dressing room door. Thankfully there was no attendant and the rooms had full doors so no one would be able to peek underneath if they felt so inclined. They were rooms rather than stalls, making their deed all the easier. 

Levi did as Erwin instructed him and Erwin walked over, nodding at Levi's fine physique. "You're so sexy Levi- When you don't talk at least." Levi snorted, but paused as Erwin shoved two fingers into his ass. "You don't even need my fingers do you, you little slut?"

Erwin could see Levi roll his eyes in the mirror, and smirked at him. "Just put your dick in me already," the smaller growled. 

Erwin grabbed Levi's hips, rough with him, and positioned himself. He needed no more prompting to shove his dick in the small body. "Mmm...fuck. Levi your hole is so tight." 

Levi huffed as if Erwin's cock was a strain. "Is it tight or am I a slut? Make up your mind old man." 

Old man. That was new. Erwin gripped Levi's thighs, shoving into him again. "Watch your mouth." He rested his chin on Levi's shoulder, grunting with every harsh thrust. "Mmm...it feels so good inside you Levi. Your little body is so slutty. Whoever picked you had good taste." 

Levi was panting. He looked up, catching Erwin's gaze in the mirror. "I suppose you could have been uglier," he responded, pushing back against Erwin's cock. The walls inside Levi's ass began pulsating, massaging the hardened erection inside and forming a pleasing and light suction. 

Erwin shivered, thrusting in slow and hard increments. "Fuck. Levi-" He thrust in a few more times, Levi's ass effectively milking his cock. He bit the robot's shoulder, growling as he came inside of him.

Levi's chest heaved and he waited for Erwin to move before standing straight again. Erwin's cock slipped out of his ass and he readjusted himself in his pants. "Goddamn Levi...that ass of yours is something else."

Levi turned to face him and looked down at his legs. "You bruised me," he said. 

Erwin traced the bruises with his finger, thrilled by them. "Do you hate them?" he asked. For a moment he felt concerned that Levi would be upset by the bruises- It was strange how non-android like Levi was; He was nothing like any of the videos he'd watched, but still he was just a robot. 

"No," Levi said. "They're fine." 

Erwin smirked. "Does this mean you don't hate me so much anymore?" 

"You're still pretty awful," Levi said, picking up the clothes he'd picked out. Luckily they hadn't been ruined by any stray fluids. 

Erwin ruffled Levi's hair and shook his head, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering this is a kink story, I'm trying to keep things pretty kinky every chapter but still have a little bit of a plot going. There will be more to the plot, and perhaps Erwin can redeem his shitty views on robots being cold and lifeless?

**Author's Note:**

> Erwin why you gotta put your dick in strange things. 
> 
> Also Erwin in the last line is actually me. Goodnight, I am exhausted.


End file.
